I tested positive for covid. Beforehand I sniffled and coughed and wheezed and sneezed for four days, but, knowing that I’m fully vaccinated, I don’t leave the house, and no one else around me was sick, I didn’t worry. Then I woke up able to breathe through my nose again and realized that I couldn’t smell a thing.

This sucks. I’m grateful that I’m not sicker. However, do you know what the grossest thing in the world is? Softboiled eggs sans flavor. My brain can’t be convinced that food is food and putting something like that in my mouth didn’t help. Calling it now: I’m going to lose a ton of weight before this is resolved. The Walgreens Pharmacy “So You’ve Tested Positive” pamphlet said it might be weeks or months before I can taste things again.

Also I pulled a muscle in my neck from sneezing too hard. That’s just rude.

I’m gonna be really mad if the last food I ever tasted was the baked ham we made on Thanksgiving. I don’t even like ham.

Anyway. Yesterday was the end of NaNoWriMo, which I didn’t try to do. It would be irresponsible of me to start yet another WIP. But I did write about 30,000 words this month (and 1/4 of that while fighting off covid!). Proverbs for Rejected Kids (working title; may be too on the nose) is now 14 chapters and 54k long, if I don’t count the thorough outline of the remaining third of the book. Which I won’t. It doesn’t exist! My beta readers are not allowed to see my messes.

I’m working on the part of Rejected Kids where the main character starts to examine the trauma he’s experienced. Neither Micah nor his sister could ever do right in their parents’ eyes. While this cemented Lacey’s rebellious side and turned it righteous, Micah took the opposite approach. He became someone unable to question abuse. Authority figures must always be obeyed, no matter what— Not because of any values he holds, but simply for fear of punishment. His desire to be good is used against him.

But it’s important that Micah is someone who wants to be good. When obeying corrupt authority puts him at odds with protecting a vulnerable peer, he finally realizes that his sense of right and wrong—long stunted by abuse—matters. He realizes that he’s been trained out of being the kind of person he wants to be, and he didn’t even recognize it was happening. To move forward, he has to build his values from the ground up.

Coming-of-age stories are a classic YA plot. First romances seem a popular avenue for self-discovery, but I don’t at all care to write about teenage crushes. However, I fully agree that love has revelatory power. Our bonds with other people help us become the best versions of ourselves. Micah, as someone who’s been denied love and told not to love, starts the story judgmental and bitter. But I didn’t think a romantic relationship would be the right way to develop him. First off, he’s fifteen. Secondly, a kid who hasn’t started healing from trauma isn’t in any position to take that step in life.

What he really needs is an outlet for his compassion. And I’m invested in his older sister taking that role. While he and Lacey seldom see eye-to-eye, they’ve lived through the same nightmare. I’m looking forward to exploring how their relationship develops after the period of separation that started in chapter one. Micah has long resented Lacey for ‘rocking the boat’, especially when she stood up for him. But she’s family, she loves him, and she cares about his perspective. And now he’s finally becoming able to value that.